Monthly Archives: February 2015



I’m just an instrument of war right? A tool to be used for one purpose. I’m equipped for survival, for destruction, for competition. That’s all I’ve ever known.

Why do these people love me? How do I respond with these feelings? Am I really capable? What good do you see in me? Why?
How powerful are you? Can you really use me for this purpose? How is that possible?

You are able to use chaos and destruction for something good. Make me new.

Wishing Will


“If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing.”

No one expects a delivery if you never promise one. I’ve only made promises that I know I can keep. To make sure I can keep a promise, I have to make sure I can deliver it first. That way I know I can keep the promise. But what promise? I’ve had it backwards all this time. I know I have the ability to deliver everything. The way to surprise people is to promise first, then later, deliver nothing.

I’ll share my own promises with the world. Whoever wants can take hold of my wishbone. However, I’ll decide where it breaks.



PTSD. There is something about the experiences in war that haunt you forever. You can never really return or “come back” to regular civilian life. On the battlefield you put your life and well-being at risk. The ability to make those decisions stays with you and you’re constantly evaluating ALL situations back home that might even cast a shadow of similar circumstances. You might physically be at home in a peaceful environment but you’re not really “there”.

Every possible target has been seen through the scope. I’ve always preferred to pull the trigger when I’m up close to the target or when I can confidently, 100% without a doubt, verify its identity. However, a sniper needs to learn to make these calls from afar. And there can be no hesitation or mistakes. No pressure right?

I’m at home but the only thing my mind has ever known is war.

Work = Force x Distance


If a body is not displaced then no work is done. I traveled the distance and realized no one was there.

Once you go back home the displacement will be zero. Am I still doing work?



A handshake is something that occurs at the beginning. It’s the opening gesture. I was taught how to give a firm handshake. Not a limp fish and not a death grip either. You angle your hand and stick it so the space between your thumb and index meets theirs. That’s the hand part. Then you grip and bring this connection up and down. That’s the shake part.

A fistbump? I can’t recall ever learning how to do one of those. No one has taught me the art of a fistbump. Do I want to learn?



Wait, can you explain the part where you chased me even though I forgot about you, even when I was unfaithful, even after I ran away from you?

Like, okay. Really? Why? But that sounds like some kind of dreadful, heavy curse was placed on your shoulders though.




“Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death.”

Commander-in-chief. I am hereby resigning my position as a general. Strip me of these badges and medals. I often forget that I have surrendered. You have already taken me captive. Lead me and I will follow. I care not what the mission is. I will not desert and I will not disobey orders. Speaking of which, I have already done these two. The court-martial should give me a sentence of death.

Mr. President. What? Why? How? Who are you? I want to learn more of this strategy. Show me, I surrender.



A crucial component failed today. We have two spare parts, which one do we use? This hole can’t just be patched up. And there’s no time left for a test drive. I have hope that the machine will still function after this replacement. It could also explode though. No risks, no rewards. This could be the missing piece of the puzzle.

“Ability is nothing without opportunity.”



I planned to get on the road and go somewhere to accomplish something. It turns out, I had a flat tire. My first instinct was to replace it with a spare. While this would be the idealistic situation, I don’t think the steps to do so are worth the resources. My tire was punctured by a nail and at the right angle it leaks. Until the nail is removed it continues to be a liability.

I’ve filled the tire up with air and it’s like the nail isn’t even there anymore. But I know it’s still there. I can hit the road but I know this nail could cause a flat at an unfortunate timing.

It’s repairable but until I have the time to fix it, I’ll keep filling myself up with hope.



Is hesitation a good or bad thing? Shall I pause to consider this question or answer it immediately? If you could pause dreams, how long does it take until you can resume them again? And what happens when another dream forms during the pause? Which one am I resuming? Is it another inception? My mind and ideas are a spinning top and I’m wide awake.