Monthly Archives: January 2018

Alive

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I remember crying after my first defeat. 20 years ago. I would cry every time I lost. It wasn’t very often, but it was brutal when it did happen. People would stare at me. I felt weak. I couldn’t control myself. But then, slowly, my eyes began to dry up. I thought that was strength.

“In your eyes, there’s a heavy blue.”

I hated that feeling so much. The repetitive convulsing of the chest as the lungs and heart suffer the cruelest, destructive pain. The slow bleeding of tears through wounded and shielded eyes. And I wondered why it hurt. I wondered how to avoid it at all costs.

“I’ve been down the darkest alleys, saw the dark side of the moon.”

When you deny your feelings and store them in the deepest trespasses of your mind, it trains your heart to produce cold blood. And that was what you once wanted and needed. Iced veins.

“I’ve been running through the jungle, I’ve been crying with the wolves to get to you.”

But now you must acknowledge your feelings. And accept yourself.

“Took too much to ease the anger.”

Let your emotions ebb and flow like the tides rising and crashing upon the shattered sands of the beach.

“You cannot know strength.. until you are broken.”

25

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“When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep… and you’re never really awake.”

“This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.”

“How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?”

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

“I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.”

“I don’t wanna die without any scars.”

“Some people die at age 25 and aren’t buried until they are 75.”

Drive

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Running on empty, cracked windshield, flat tire.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”

The airbag is useless because I will not crash.

afdsjlknwverui

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“I’ve been … for too long.”

“I’d rather be a lover than a fighter.”

“I think too much, and I hate it.”

“I’m so used to being in the wrong, I’m tired of caring.”

“I found peace in your violence.”

“Can’t tell me there’s no point in trying.”

“I’ve been … for too long.”

Daydream

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“Imagination rules the world.”

When you tell others, “Trust me”, you need to be the first one to do so.

Reborn

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Tell me I’m wrong.

“Cause I took so much time to reset my life.”

I’ll look left and then I’m right.

“But in just one look, I’m back.”

And repeat. Why am I so stubborn?

Ink

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1. Location

    Shoulder
    Inner bicep
    Chest
    Ankle

2. Design

    Chess Piece / King / Crown / Cross
    Poker Chip / Cards / Ace
    Lion
    Sword w/ hilt / Shattered blade
    will / only one / worth
    ice crystal / shard

3. Ink

    If you still want it
    The date is after 1/1/2019