“Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!”
The physical pain has always been easier to manage. You can push yourself to get stronger and generally know where the limit is before you are permanently damaging something.
I know what I want and I know what I want to fight for. So why is it so hard to stamp out this indecisiveness? Why is there no sign that something has gone wrong? Is this really the farthest you can push? You’re really just going to sit here and watch, upon this mental plateau?