But if I were wise, words and complaints could not be released.
“But he is unchangeable, and who can turn him back?
What he desires, that he does.
For he will complete what he appoints for me,
and many such things are in his mind.
Therefore I am terrified at his presence;
when I consider, I am in dread of him.
God has made my heart faint;
the Almighty has terrified me;
yet I am not silenced because of the darkness,
nor because thick darkness covers my face.”
These passions that exist within – who can accuse me? Have I not tried to understand all situations and cases? Have I not diligently avoided their gaze in hopes that they would blur and fade away? Have I been careless in my search for excuses that would make them guilty and unworthy?
“What is man, that you make so much of him, and that you set your heart on him”
Oh, if you were to relieve me of these passions. That my mind could find comfort and peace without them. That I could be content for but a moment. Oh, if you were to at least explain why they still remain? Explain how they survived my onslaught? Have I not tried to abandon them? Have I not tried to choke them out and kill them?
It is as if you control the flies buzzing around. Zooming back and forth in an unpredictable fashion. They always make their presence by my ear known. So I seek them out one by one. When they land and take their rest, I pounce and swat them with a quick strike. Squashed and splattered they slide to the ground. For who can take hold of a fly in motion? That can predict its movement and guide its path?
Who are you that when you speak: the words fly into action, producing your will? Who can understand your ways? I am terrified. That you don’t even need to speak and yet things are released upon your command.