there is only one found worthy.



Note to self: one goal, one dream? If you think you’ve got what it takes then do it. You’ll know when you reach the goal. Until then, refactor. Destroy it. Create it again. Build it back up. Eliminate all distractions and all inefficient factors. This is part of the journey. And while you’re at it show me what you’ve learned. It’s been a while.

Vicarious Failure


First, some context. Now, my thoughts. The article title states: “competition is for losers”. While I agree with some of the points of the article and found most of the content itself interesting, this title bothers me. Loser has a negative connotation in this context and I want it to have a positive one. Mainly because I am a loser. In my mind, that’s not a bad thing. Let me clarify.

Loss, failure, rejection. All of these are fairly common words that bring to mind negative emotions. And they do, for a good reason. They all hurt like hell. They hurt more depending on how much you valued the (blank). I’m pretty sure everyone has experienced these things. What is bothering me most right now are the vicarious people. These are the people who see you, before, during, or after your competition (whatever it may be) and decide to give you some advice or an opinion. These are the people who don’t actually know what it’s like. These are the people that try to convince you because they are qualified to do so. Why? Because they’ve seen other people fail. Okay. They have not just seen other people fail, they’ve seen lots of people fail. Wow, really? These are the people who don’t know what competition is.

Every competition has a loser and a winner. I thought this was an obvious concept. Apparently, the reason some people don’t participate in competition is because it’s not realistic. It’s not realistic to “win”, that is. Anyways, I’m not sure why people have the assumption that if you don’t “win” then its viewed as a failure. Is winning the only goal in a competition? Sure, it’s an important goal but losing has something to offer as well. It feels like you’re losing something you valued. You are and it hurts. There will be pain. Failure is scary. But I’m gonna own it all the way. I can’t learn from a vicarious failure.



First, let’s google this word. I’m going to use the 2nd definition: senseless; impractical; totally unsound. I think this context describes pretty well what people think of my goals, my ideas, and me. For a first impression anyways. Now, this is the actual crazy that I don’t understand: what people think of you.

What people think of you. How do you make sense of it? It’s not practical. It’s not sound. What people think of you is indeed, crazy. And I’m referring to the “what” as what’s crazy and not “you” as crazy. People are going to call you many things. People you know are going to say different things. People you don’t know are going to say much of the same things. And all of it, it’s crazy. It is senseless, impractical, and totally unsound. But when I hear those comments about who I am, when I listen to my friends who are all telling me something, and when I look at what the world is shouting at me… it makes sense, for a second. This is because I’ll consider a concept before I give my judgement. And in the end, I come down to the same conclusion. It’s pure distraction. Nothing more. Besides crazy that is. I already set my goals, crafted my ideas, and I know myself. The thing about distraction is that it “distributes” your “action”. Hence, distr-action.

I recently read an article about being in motion versus taking action. Ironically, and obviously, I was distracted. But anyways, I enjoyed it. It was crazy! Well, it wasn’t crazy. But you know. And to kind of play along with its idea, any motion at all is distraction. In other words, action consists of motion. And motion is necessary to make up an action. But it’s still not the action. It might make up an action, but it’s still a motion not an action. Think of someone throwing a ball to you in slow motion. Watch as they grip the ball, then wind their arm back, then finally they whip it forward, releasing the ball. Gripping the ball may be an action itself, but the action of throwing does not equal the action of gripping the ball. Likewise, whipping the arm forward may be an action, but you would not say someone threw the ball if they just whipped their arm forward (Unless you’re the NFL). Each action consists of motions which may be actions that also consist of motions. It’s motionception. Or is it actionception? ANYWAYS, the point is, your goals, your ideas, and yourself may be crazy to the entire world. But as long as you can endure the distraction and follow each individual motion(action?) through the entire action, you’ll be able to put all the distraction together and make it not crazy. Actually, it’s still crazy. Why? It’s still distraction. So, (just) make sense of things in all of that distraction and you’ll have your next action.



For the majority of my life, I’ve always planned my next step. I’ve just learned (from all my time dedicated to chess) that even when it’s your move, the only thing you really do is plan your next sequence of moves. You don’t take action without having a plan. Why? Because there’s no sense of direction if you do so. You’re not getting closer to your goal. You’re wasting TIME. However, as I’ve spent more time thinking about time, a familiar question crosses my mind. When does it stop? When do we finally reach our goal and when can we finally enjoy our present(time) without thinking about the “next thing”?

Okay, I have more than one question. Bear with me. It might take some time, but I’ll quit asking questions eventually. And stop trying to find excuses to type “time”. Anyways, I have plenty of questions but I’ll take this approach.

Why do we fear wasting time? What is so bad about enjoying the moment? The present is fleeting and will become the past. The steps we’ve taken in life are behind us. We’re already looking towards the future like its an endless flight of stairs. Maybe it’s because this step we’re on is kind of rocky and we might fall back down. Maybe it’s because if we could just reach that step up there, the one that looks nice and polished and shiny, then we can finally be glad to sit down to “waste some time” there.

See, there’s something inside us that is waiting. We’re waiting patiently, thinking about our next step. But then we hear that “tick, tock”. The clock is ticking. Time is running out. We can’t afford to waste any time. The present doesn’t impress us so naturally the only thing to think about is either the past or the future..

What are you waiting for? Is it a person? An event? What is it that you search for? Is it something greater? Something different? What could you possibly find that would make “time stop”? That would enable you to enjoy the moment? Even the best possible moment you can think of, would you want to stay there..forever?

There’s only one I can think of spending forever with. Why? Because I have found someone that made sense of TIME. Showed me both the bottom and top of the staircase. Said this..

“I am the Beginning and the End.”

testing .replace()


var firstPost = "this is my first post";
var secondPost = "this ismysecond post";

var test = [];

  console.log(m.indexOf(" ") ? m.replace(/\s/gi,"KAPPA") : null);


one way READ MORE

So I finally overcame my stubbornness and installed wordpress. I was previously going to build my own blog from scratch, thinking I would learn a lot more. And I would have. But I don’t have the time for that and I have better stuff to learn right now.